Advocators for Domestic Violence Victims

Overall, looking at domestic violence and how it widely affects each aspect of a victim’s life and their social environment, it is important to look at the many programs created to help these victims. Often time’s victims of domestic violence are restricted from holding any kind of money or being in charge of their own bank accounts. This being said, they are not financially able to take care of themselves if they decided to leave their partner. Programs that are designed to help victims of domestic violence transition from a controlled relationship to an independent one are created for this very purpose.

One program that has been very beneficial in advocating for domestic violence victims is the United States Department of Justice Office on Violence Against Women. Susan B. Carbon is the director of this program and according to the U.S. Department of Justice website, their mission is to “ provide federal leadership in developing the nation’s capacity to reduce violence against women and administer justice for and strengthen services to victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. In 1994 Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in recognition of the severity of crimes associated with domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking.” This program offers grants to help fund for others programs that are geared to assist victims of domestic violence. Different support hotlines are present for anyone who wants to anonymously call and  talk to a supporter. The victims that benefit from these programs are men, women and children. This program has impacted many victims of domestic violence and has helped them transition from living in a world a fear, to taking control of their situation and living free from bondage.

Another well-known program that has been prominent in helping victims of domestic violence is WEAVE. WEAVE has been prominent in the Sacramento, California area. Information found on the WEAVE’s website states that this program fosters to victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. Similar to the program at the U.S Department of Justice, there is a 24 hour support and information hotline for immediate service and intervention. There is also a safe house which is an emergency shelter for women who have left a domestic violence relationship. Since men are also victims of domestic violence, they are placed in a different facility than the women are, but a shelter is also present for them as well. WEAVE’s  children’s counseling program offers counseling for 4 ½ to 17 years old who has witnessed domestic violence. The Domestic Violence Response Team (DVRT) is a joint project with the Elk Grove Police Department which offers support and advocacy through the criminal process and all other things that will help assist the victim through the traumatic times.  

There are many different resources that are available to victims of domestic violence as long as they are aware of these services. Frequently the victims are made to believe that no one cares about them and they have nowhere else to go. Believing this, they stay with their batterers and endure the pain. But, if they are educated about the many resources that are available for them, leaving may be a little bit easier. Although this process is never easy, it is the first step of healing and starting a new life.

1. www.WEAVEinc.org

2. www.justice.gov

The Invisible Victims of Domestic Violence

When dealing with domestic violence,  majority of the time the victims are women. However it is surprising to many people that men,  gays and lesbians can be victims of domestic violence too. Now one may think how a strong masculine male can be subjected to domestic violence. Or even a woman  being abused by another woman. Although it is rare, and there is little research done about male and gay and lesbian victims, it is definitely possible. Battered men, gays and lesbians are considered to be the hidden or invisible side of domestic violence.

Men are far less likely to report being abused by their intimate partner because it is very embarrassing to them. Because they are pressured to put on that tough guise, they hold back from reporting the abuse because of the fear of being humiliated by society. There also is a belief that they will not be believed. Many victims end up experiencing extreme stress, isolation and depression because they have no one to turn to. According to the article “Masculinity of Men Communicating Abuse Victimization” by Jessica J. Eckstein, it is mentioned that every year there are 3.2 million men in the United States that are victims of intimate partner violence (IPV). With this evidence being prevalent, these victims are not treated  like normal victims due to society views of what masculinity should be. Male victims are encouraged to keep silence about their victimization. They are told to suppress their feelings and act as if they don’t care. Like the various types of abuse that is present in female intimate partner violence, the cycle of violence is prevalent with the male population (p. 3). Abuse such as physical abuse involving hitting, kicking, biting, and throwing things. Emotional abuse, which involves name calling and the use  of degrading language toward the victim. Psychological abuse which includes using threats and making them isolate themselves from people. Financial abuse is also present within this cycle of violence, as the abuser restrains the victim from working or holding any type of money. Last but not least, male victims experience spiritual abuse as  the abuser uses the victim’s religious beliefs as a way to manipulate them. In the article “Male Victims of Violence” by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, it is stated that “16% of adult men who reported being raped and/or physically assaulted were assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabitating partner, boyfriend/girlfriend or date”. This evidence illustrates the significance in the amount of males being victimized by their partners (p.1). Another topic that is even less talked about is IPV against gay and lesbian victims.

Gays and lesbians  are even less likely than heterosexual males to report IPV within their relationship. The effects of domestic violence that occurs within a gay or lesbian relationship, is exactly like a heterosexual relationship. The cycle of violence occurs and dramatically affects the victim. However, despite the numerous resources that are available for heterosexuals, there are limited programs that are geared to help gay and lesbian victims of domestic violence. According to Michael J. Brown and Jennifer Groscup, in their article “Perceptions of Same-sex Domestic Violence Among Crisis Center Staff” it is stated that “the sexual orientation of the parties involved can influence other aspects of the criminal justice system’s response to domestic violence.” There are many biases that occur within law enforcement that prevent these victims  from receiving the proper care and protection that is needed.  But this homophobia doesn’t only direct towards the criminal justice system, but also for the mental health professions as well. Many health professionals don’t agree with homosexuality, so their biases are affected by the care that they provide their clients. Many health providers often feel uncomfortable with dealing with gay and lesbian victims because of their homophobia, thus limiting the proper care that may be needed to help the victim (p. 87-88). This poses a great deal of concern because everyone, no matter what sexual orientation, should be able to receive equal care and protections as heterosexuals do.

It is especially clear that there should be more research done on the effects of domestic violence on heterosexual males and gay and lesbian victims. The amount of bias and myths surrounding  these victims have prevented them from receiving the help that they need as human beings. Until these stereotypes and biases are suppressed, there will not be any proper care for these invisible victims.

1.      Brown, Michael & Groscup, Jennifer. (2008). Perceptions of Same-sex Domestic

Violence Among Crisis Center Staff. Springer Sciences. 24:87–93

2.      Eckstein, Jessica. (2010). Masculinity of Men Communicating Abuse Victimization.

 Culture, Society, and Masculinities. p. 1-12.

3.      National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (2011). Male Victims of Violence

The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

                                                                     

Domestic violence not only affects the abused  lives, but it also affects their loved ones lives as well. One example of this is the effects it has on children inside the home. Many people who are in abusive relationships are under the control of their abuser. This means that they cannot act without receiving permission first. In many cases the victim tries to stay on the abusers good side to avoid confrontation in front of their kids. Because of this, it  gives the adolescents  mixed messages about how to think, behave and act in response to the violence. Many times children are witnessing these events first hand which causes confusion, stress and fear. Witnessing this type of violence can affect a child tremendously during and throughout their life.

            When children witness violence within their home, many are traumatized by this event. The sight of violence makes them question their parents or caregivers ability to protect them from harm. Mostly children want to live in a home that violence doesn’t occur. In the article “Behind Closed Doors: The Impact of Domestic Violence” by UNICEF, which is located in the United Kingdom, it is states  “Me and my sister are scared,” says one nine-year-old girl who lives in a violent home in the United Kingdom. “Our parents fight a lot and we fear they might split up. They fight when we're upstairs. They don't think we know what's going on, but we do.” Many times when parents are fighting in another room they assume that the children don’t  know what’s going on. But unbeknownst to them, they do. They are in the next room listening to every, insult, slap, punch, and cry that is occurring. Children who are exposed to violence are denied their right to be safe and secure inside their home. Another term that is used to describe the children who are subjected to violence within the home is known as “the forgotten victims” of domestic violence. It is recorded that children who are victims of violence in the home are more than likely to be victims of child abuse. And those who are not directly victims suffer from some behavior, emotional and psychological problems (p. 1).

            In most cases children know who to be afraid of inside their home. In the article “First Step" by Florida Department of Health Maternal and Child Health Services, it is stated that "They are afraid of the abuser. They must stay on the abuser’s “good side” in order to stay safe. The children may act like the abuser." They will act like the abuser because they are acting out of fear. They will do whatever they have to in order to be safe. This being prevalent, many mental problems such as depression, low self-esteem, fear and anger arise due to the violence that is in the home. Some physical problems such as headaches, tiredness, eating problems, bedwetting, violence against others, or alcohol and drug use can take place also. Boys may hurt their mother and are more than likely to grow up to abuse women as they are older. These victims tend to believe that abuse is normal, men and women are not equal, its ok to abuse someone when you are mad, and the one's you love will hurt you (p. 15-16).  These beliefs can be detrimental to a child's ability to develop close relationships with others, behave in society, or even trust their parent or caregiver.

            Domestic violence can have numerous effects on children. I cannot stress enough that we need to look at our children’s emotional, psychological, and physical well-being when dealing with domestic violence. These “forgotten victims” lives are impacted severely because of domestic violence. Our society needs to focus a little more on these victims when trying to figure out why they have so many behavioral and psychological problems. Children who witness domestic violence in their families have to deal with this their entire lives. Encouraging the community to get involved and create resources for children to process the abuse will benefit  them and may help break the cycle of domestic violence.  

1. Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence

         www.fcadv.org

2.  UNICEF (2006). Behind Closed Doors: The Impact of

        Domestic Violence.p.1

The Cycle of Violence

Domestic violence doesn’t just happen instantly, it happens during an extended period of time. No one is immune from being abused no matter what your race, age, or your social status is.This violence is also known as the cycle of violence. There are three phases to this cycle; Tension Building, Explosion, and the Honeymoon Phase. Many victims go through denial during these phases to hide from the reality of their abuse. When one gets married or enters into a relationship, it is assumed that they are going to be loved, cared for, and protected by their partner. It starts out like a fairy tale and ends up like a horror story.

Within an abusive relationship, the more one stays in that relationship the violence only escalades. According to the Domestic Violence Solutions program in Sana Barbara, they explain  the three stages within the cycle of violence. Tension Building the first phase, is the developing phases that helps facilitates into the physical violence. It is also referred to as the victim “walking on eggshells”. During this period of time, the victim tries to stay of their partner’s way and avoids any arguments. They try to please and keep their abuser calm. The next phase is Explosion which is the actual abuse. This can vary from physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, verbal, financial abuse or spiritual abuse. Physical abuse involves such things as pushing, scratching, punching, choking, or throwing objects at the victim. Emotional abuse is where the abuser may threaten to leave, dismissing one’s feelings, or keeping one from going to work or school. Psychological abuse is when the abuser makes it seem like the victim’s reality aren’t real. Verbal abuse involves yelling, name calling, teasing the victim on something that they are sensitive about or using sarcasm. Financial abuse is taking away the victim’s paycheck, withholding funds, spending all the money before the bills are paid, ruining one’s credit or hiding money. Finally spiritual abuse happens when the abuser restricts the victim from practicing their religion, putting down one’s religion or wearing down one’s self esteem until they have no faith.

Although all the types of abuse are immoral, majority of the times the victims are affected mostly by the emotional and verbal abuse. In the article “First Step” by the Florida Department of Health Maternal and Child Health Services, it is stated that “Many victims tell us that the worst abuse they remember is emotional and verbal. They tell us that this is the kind of abuse that tears apart their heart and soul. It damages their feelings of self-worth. The person who is supposed to love and protect them ends up hurting them.” Overtime victims tend to become numb to the emotional and physical abuse because that is one of the only ways they can deal with it. As stated before, many victims are in denial, blame themselves or justify why their partner abuses them.    

The cycle of violence will reoccur in an abusive relationship until the victim finds a way to get out. This process is never easy, but if it is successful many can go on living their lives free from their abusers. One cannot fully feel safe until they start healing from their fear, anger and pain.

Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.fcadv.org

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org

Family Violence Prevention Fund www.fvpf.org

U.S. Department of Justice—Violence Against Women Office

www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo

 

A Little Bit About Domestic Violence

What is domestic violence? Domestic violence (DV) is violence against ones domestic spouse or partner. This is one of the contributing causes of homicides today. There are a lot of misconceptions as to the extensiveness of this crime. Why DV happens in the first place? Who are victims of DV? Who are affected by this crime? What are the motivating factors? The many resources that are put in place to help DV victims cope and deal with after effects of DV. These all are issues that need to be discussed to expand on ones perception of what DV is.

There are many statistics that illustrate how wide-spread this issue is. It not only affects the victim, but close people in their lives as well.  According to The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and The National Institute of Justice, Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, it is states that  “one out of four women (25 %) has experienced domestic violence in their lifetime.” It is stated by the Allstate Foundation National Poll on Domestic Violence, 2006 “nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. 30% of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year. This statistic speaks volumes of the extensity of domestic violence. Although it is only recorded that 25% of women experienced domestic violence in their lifetime, no one know the percentage of those women who don’t report. “On average between 1993 and 2004, children under age 12 were residents of households experiencing intimate partner violence in 43% of incidents involving female victims and 25% of incidents involving male victims” which was quoted by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, Intimate Partner Violence in the U.S. 1993-2004, 2006. Many children are present when domestic violence is taking place. Watching their parent get abused can traumatize them as they get older.

These statistics show just a glimpse of the seriousness of domestic violence. As I discuss the different issues of domestic violence within my blog, I hope to leave you with a better understanding of the extensiveness of this crime.